A weirdly comforting line for me: “No one else knows what they are doing either.”
-Charles Bukowksi
I take solace whenever I read this line. Because to be honest, I certainly don’t know what am I doing and since most others seem to be doing well or they just pretend to be doing well, I would stick to ‘I don’t know what I am doing. I hate myself for it.’
And life among this hustle and bustle and the urgency to belong to something or someone adds its share of anxiety and makes it harder for me to figure out for myself what to do and and what I am supposed to do.
I am just trying to calm down the needless haste around my surrounding or as a last resort I want to escape from it because right now I don’t want to be in rush for belonging.
At this moment, it feels like being a lost soul playing hard on self to figure out why am I here. And this anonymous quote gets the shit out of me: “Everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for.”
Because somehow, somewhere, sometimes in our lives, we all have asked for things that are scary and terrible, and I fear the process of preparation that the quote refers to. The feelings right now: surrounded by hidden walls. Walls that make me very good at preparing to live, but never allow me to live.
In short, right now, IT’s All Fucked Up 😦
Arbanee|| 